


No, Not Again

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), just something to make you sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-08 04:33:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21470128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Based off an actual deleted scene on Vormir from Endgame. Just something to make you sad.Second chapter is short extra I just had to write.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 5
Kudos: 66





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are mine. Sorry if it’s not very romanogersy. I tried. I do not own the characters.

The cold stone and snows of Vormir surrounded them. Natasha sat on a large rock, hands on chin, mind going blank. Strangely peaceful.

Her tranquility was disturbed by Clint. They were running out of time. They needed to decide. “Whatever it takes,” he said calmly.

She stood up and faced him. “If we don’t get that stone, billions of people stay dead.” It was the cold truth. One of them had to die.

“I guess we both know who it’s gonna be,” Clint smiled. 

“I guess we do,”

He gently took her hand. She squeezed it and placed her other hand over his glove-clad fingers.

“I’m starting to think we mean different people here, Natasha.” 

Damn right we are. The air was getting colder, the wind swirled around them. Natasha was barely aware of the red skull still standing in the shadows, watching them argue.

“I am the logical play,” she said firmly.

“No Nat, stop,”

“I have nothing to lose, that’s always been the point.” All her life, she killed and murdered and never looked back. That was a different lifetime. Now, she was trying to wipe the red from her ledger and be good. No matter how hard she tried, the red spread and kept on growing and spreading until it was everywhere and she couldn’t stop it from suffocating her. Her life, it seemed, was a good way to put an end to the never-ending depth of crimson.

“Yeah well, I got nothing to live for, so there.” 

No.

“If this works, you know what you get back.” She could not believe what she was hearing. He had a family. She searched his eyes, desperate for any kind of reaction. He couldn’t give them up. Clint opened his mouth but didn’t get to speak. 

Natasha heard the lasers firing before she heard the ship. 

Beams of red, green and blue flew past them, scorching hot and barely missing their mark. This was a kill mission, she realised. They didn’t want any prisoners. They wanted the stone.

“They” were Thanos and his army. 

They were here.

Snow and bits of rock where flung into the air as the beams hit a solid surface. She ran on instinct, taking shelter behind one of the two large stone pillars that stood not far from the cliff edge. Her fingers gripped the cold stone, gun clutched weakly in her hand. 

“Not good,” she heard Clint say over the explosions of laser beams. “They’re boxing us in.”

She caught a glance at one of the spaceships behind them. Alien soldiers were already jumping down from them, weapons ready and bloodthirsty. They were running out of time.

“Then we break out, hit them from the back.” She replied, a different plan forming in her head. She had to save Clint. She didn’t want to fight him too. 

“Alright take left flank, I’ll clear right. Save your ammo, pick your targets.” 

But she was not listening anymore.

“Copy,” she mumbled blankly and on instinct.

“On my mark,”

Forgive me for what I’m about to do, Clint. I’m sorry.

“Three”

I’m sorry.

“Two”

She bolted from her hiding place, a count too early, out into the battlefield of firing guns and screaming aliens. 

She ran.

Not away from something like she had always done, but towards a purpose. Natasha kicked up snow as she ran for half of the people on earths’ lives. She had never moved so fast in her life. The panic and desperateness slid into place, and she yelled in frustration as she fired at two aliens coming at her way. She could hear Clint running after her, screaming and pleading.

Stop. Stop. She ignored her instincts and kept on running. Only about fifteen metres from the cliff edge.

She heard a shot fire, and pain took over her body. 

Not an average gunshot like she was used to, but unfamiliar alien technology that scorched her suit and burned a hole in her skin. Natasha fell to her knees onto the ground. She could already feel blood gushing up of the open hole on her waist. She gasped in pain and clutched her hip. 

Natasha gathered her cold steel will, bit her lip and stood up.

She kept on running.

She was about ten metres away from the edge when another beam hit her ribs. She screamed in anger and kept her footing. I’m dying. I’m dying.

The thought brought goosebumps onto her skin. Natasha willed all the strength into her legs and limped towards the solution and her end.

The third beam hit her under the collarbone. Third time lucky, they said. 

And they were right. Natasha lost her balance from the force of the laser beam and fell onto the ground. A ringing filled her head. I’m going to die. 

She needed to get to the edge. Natasha saw Clint behind her, his adrenaline forcing him to sloppily kill the aliens trying to attack him. He was injured as well, she saw. She needed to get to the edge. Clint desperately stabbed the last alien with one of their own weapons. He’d lost his katana somewhere. She needed to get to the edge.

Natasha tried but could not get up. She had no choice but to crawl using her elbows and knees. Only a few movements away. Come on come on come on. Every movement was like being stabbed a thousand times over.

Clint collapsed onto the trail of blood she left behind.

She finally reached the edge of the cliff. Elbows propped underneath her, Natasha looked down and saw the death-plunge in front of her. For a moment, her instincts took over and she cowered back. And then she heard Clint.

He was on his stomach, looking at her desperately, arm and hand outstretched and reaching for her ankle. 

It was not him that caught her attention. 

It was the alien behind him, gun pointed at him and ready to fire.

She got him first. Two shots rang out from her gun, and the alien went down.

Clint turned to look at her again. She smiled at him in relief. Her best friend was not dead, but the aliens all were. They were safe for now. The ringing in her head stopped, and a peace filled her mind. She was so tired, and all warmth seemed to escape her body. But it would be ok. Cold wind slapped against her face, her vision blurred. They laid there for a few moments, her half dangling off the edge of a cliff, and Clint relaxed, eyes full of relief.

Natasha still saw the figure standing not far away behind them.

Her vision cleared, her mind became alert and she immediately became aware of every gaping wound in her body. The ringing in her head was back, and her breathing became heavy. The last of her life energy was being used up. 

It was him.

Thanos himself. The man who had destroyed the avengers and snapped away half of the population in the universe. They were both going to die. He was going to kill them and 4 billion people were going to stay dead forever. 

The thought brought screaming inside her head. She wouldn’t cower from death, not again. She should’ve done this before they became a fucking bleeding mess on the ground. A rush of anger filled her body. 

He was coming closer. Clint realised she was going to do something and bellowed no. Everything became slow motion to her.

Natasha wouldn’t cower from death.

Never again.

Never again.

She simply threw her weight forward and tumbled off the edge of the cliff.

***

Moonlight shone through the window of Steve’s room in the avengers compound. Natasha opened his door slightly, then, knowing he was still awake, slipped inside.

“Hi,” he said blankly, turning around to face her.

“Hi,” she replied.

There was no further talk as she walked over to his bed and sat down. It didn’t matter, though. They simply enjoyed each other’s presence. 

“You should be asleep,” he said.

“So should you,” she smiled, knowing he did not.

“Listen, about tomorrow-“

Natasha put a hand over his mouth. “Don’t. We’ll be okay. We always are.” She slid the hand down his face and dropped it back onto her lap.

“You’re right, we will make it through. I know it.” He grasped her hand and entwined their fingers together. He leaned forwards and their foreheads touched. She closed her eyes and felt silence. Peace.

“On second thought,” she moved back and looked into his blue eyes, “if I don’t make it back, you have to promise me-“ 

“Why would you say that? Of course you will make it back. Please don’t put thoughts inside my head.”

“You have to promise me,” she continued, “that you’ll live out your life, and be happy.”

“No,” he looked at her, eyes hard. “I appreciate your concern for my happiness, but I am commanding you to survive the battle and make it back.”

She smiled a little at his cheesiness. “Of course, Captain America.”

She climbed off his bed and slipped back out the door.

Natasha should have slept with him that night.

The avengers stood at the time travel portal. 

Natasha would look forward to seeing the happiness on Steve’s face if she got back from the time heist.

She had a strange feeling that it was going to be a very big if.


	2. Bonus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m still writing about endgame, I know. This is probably the last one though. Sorry it’s so short. I just had to complete it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own any characters

It was one of the rare days he spent at the compound. Having his own apartment in Brooklyn, he preferred not to come to the empty, mansion like building. It reminded him too much of what they had fought for, and lost.

Steve was woken by a small clang from outside his bedroom door. For a moment he thought it could be one of those weird teenagers that weren’t upset enough about the snap who were still obsessed with the avengers sneaking into the compound. He slipped out of bed and quietly opened the door. 

With his enhanced eyes, Steve saw through the dark the lounge and small kitchen outside the floor of living quarters. It was prettily decorated with cozy armchairs and faux fur carpets. He spotted a figure over by the sink. Natasha.

“Hey,” he said gently. “You okay?”

He heard a sniff, and then the slight thud as she set a glass down on the counter. “I’m fine.”

Steve folded his arms and waited for more answers.

“Couldn’t sleep?” She asked.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“I said I’m fine,” she huffed. “Go back to bed.”

“Natasha,” he said sternly.

She sighed and sat down on one of the armchairs, the soft cushions enveloping her. “I keep having nightmares. It was just…everyone was gone, including you…and it was just me standing alone against him and his army. And he killed me and there was all pain and screaming over and over again, you failed you failed.” She shuddered and curled in on herself.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“For making you feel unsafe and having to endure this.”

“That’s not your fault, Steve,” she said, “we’ve talked about this.”

“It is. It is. I’m sorry I moved away.” He knelt in front of her on the carpet. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here with you every day helping with this. You have sacrificed so much these past few years. You are a good person, Natasha.”

“I- it’s okay, Steve. You’ve done enough. I never deserved you.”

“Look, I have to tell you this.” He searched her eyes. “The red you were so desperately trying to wipe out? Stop trying. There is no more red, Nat.”

She placed her hands against his face, stubble tickling her fingers. Their foreheads touched. Natasha sighed at the heat radiating off him, at the comfort of a true friend. She then hugged him, throwing her arms over Steve’s shoulders. Maybe it was too sudden a movement, for he toppled over and suddenly they were lying on the furry carpet, his hands on her waist. He chuckled and she buried her face in the crook of his neck.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“Love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> The YouTube video which may not work 😬😬
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGBMOSFkBXI


End file.
